When My Love is Sick

Illness is not something I deal with personally very often.  I just don't get sick very much.  Sometimes I get run down - I do too much and sleep too little and eat like shit and then the combo kicks my ass.  But even that is rare.  I'm just not sick very often.  Bailey's like me.  She doesn't get sick.  Or, rather, she gets sick very, very rarely and springs back within 2 days. 

Kelly and Connor, though.  They are different.  They pick up random crud everywhere and it always effects them for days.  

This past Thursday, Kelly had the completely horrid experience of passing a kidney stone.  While this isn't something she "just picked up", it has led to multiple days of recovery.

It breaks my heart.  I hate it when she is not feeling well.  I hate it when I know she is hurting.  I hate it when I know that she feels guilty for needing to take it easy and I hate it that our lives cannot slow down much and allow her to rest without guilt.  I hate that, despite my attempts, the quality of life we have goes down when our efforts are reduced to just me and not us as a team.

It's a Momma-bear effect, but for my wife.  I get protective of her in a way that I'm not in our normal existence.  I want to protect her from pain - all versions of it.  I guess that's what makes me a good wife.  Or at least, one of the reasons.  

Today, I'm grocery shopping.  Bailey has a concert.  I'm cleaning the house.  And I'm constantly focused on Kelly and what she needs.  I want to give her what she needs to feel better.  I want her better...not only because I don't want for her to feel pain, guilt or frustration.  I want her better because I miss my best teammate.  

I love you, Kelly.  When you read this, know that I'm loving you while you're sleeping.  I'm loving you while  you're sick.  I'm loving you, even when you feel like you're not "pulling your weight" or when you're worried that I'm too stressed out.  I'm right here.  I'll take care of you until you feel better, until you're healed...forever.